Imagine holding the hand of a tiny superhero navigating a battle against cancer. You cheer their bravery, bandage their wounds, and fight alongside them with fierce love. But how do you take care of your own needs and fit in some self care during this difficult time? How do you help your child cope when exhaustion threatens to dim your light? For most parents, from the moment they receive their child’s diagnosis, their own needs go out the window.
Being a childhood cancer caregiver is a role steeped in both immense strength and vulnerability. Every day tests your resilience, leaving you juggling medications, schedules, treatment decisions, and emotional needs as well as advocating for your child with their social worker, medical team and, depending on their age, the education team as well. For parents of children going through cancer treatment, it’s easy to neglect yourself in the face of such urgent needs, yet self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a lifeline. This blog is your oasis, a wellspring of practical tips and heartfelt encouragement to help you rediscover your own strength and joy amidst the challenges.
From prioritizing sleep and healthy habits to finding creative outlets and building a support network, we’ll explore strategies to replenish your physical, emotional, and mental reserves as well as boost your overall health. We’ll celebrate small victories, share coping mechanisms, and remind you that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s the oxygen mask that allows you to continue saving lives, your heroes included.
So, take a deep breath, warrior. This blog is your companion on the path to rediscovering your inner wellspring. Because when you take care of yourself, you pour strength and resilience back into the fight, making you the best possible champion for your little superhero.
If finding time for yourself seems about as simple as climbing Everest, why not think about setting yourself a word for the year (or month) like Fifty & Fab does and use this to inspire your self-care activities or grab yourself a self-care checklist?
Are you ready to prioritize your own well-being? Buckle up, let’s dive into the world of self-care and reclaim your light, one step at a time.
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Journaling
Journaling is a secret weapon in a busy mum’s self-care arsenal. It carves out a dedicated space, just for you, amidst the daily whirlwind. Here, you can vent frustrations, celebrate victories, or simply untangle your thoughts. This process can be incredibly cathartic, reducing stress and quieting the mental chatter. Journaling can also help you identify patterns and emotions, leading to a greater sense of self-awareness and control. In just a few minutes a day, you can create a safe haven for your inner voice, fostering resilience and reminding yourself that you’re not alone in the juggling act of motherhood.
Journaling can be especially useful when you are going through a hard time, it can provide a great deal of emotional support for you. By spending time concentrating on gratitude and making a note of the small ways things are better each day by using a gratitude journal, you can start to develop a much more positive attitude to life. Another way to use your journal for self-care is to write down positive things about yourself. We are our own biggest critics so taking the time to think about something meaningful and from the heart as recommended by Easy Peasy Greeny.
Support Network
A strong support network is a lifeline for mothers facing their child’s cancer diagnosis. The emotional toll of being the primary caregiver is immense, and navigating complex medical decisions alongside daily care becomes overwhelming. A support network, whether family members, friends, the secondary caregiver, or a dedicated support group for families in similar situations, provides a safe space to share fears and frustrations. This emotional outlet can lessen the burden and prevent isolation. A good network can also offer practical help, like meals, childcare, or transportation to appointments, freeing up precious energy for you to focus on your child and your own well-being. Knowing you are not alone in this fight empowers you to face each day with renewed strength and hope. You might be wondering what the difference is between the primary vs secondary caregiver, the primary caregiver being the one who has the main duty of caring for a loved one, and the secondary caregiver stepping in when the primary is unavailable for whatever reason.
Sleep
For mums caring for sick children, prioritizing sleep might feel like a luxury they can’t afford. But getting enough sleep is the cornerstone of self-care for these warriors. A well-rested mum has sharper focus, better emotional resilience, and a stronger immune system – all crucial for effective caregiving. Imagine the difference between soothing a feverish child with patience after a good night’s sleep versus battling exhaustion on top of worry. Sleep allows mums to be more present, empathetic, and better equipped to handle the emotional rollercoaster that comes with a child’s illness. It’s not selfish; it’s essential for being the best possible caregiver for your child.
If you find it difficult to switch off at home, you could really indulge by booking yourself a night away in a hotel. Escaping the daily routines and the pressures of family life for a night can do you the world of good. Take a good book or binge-watch your favourite show on Netflix, pack some goodies like nice chocolates, wine, or a pampering kit, and really allow yourself a chance to catch up on your sleep
Exercise
When your child is critically ill, the world shrinks to the sterile walls of a hospital or the constant worry at home. But amidst the emotional turmoil and relentless caregiving, prioritizing physical activity becomes a powerful act of self-care for parents. Regular exercise, even in short bursts, offers a much-needed escape. It allows you to clear your head, release pent-up stress, and boost your mood. A brisk walk in nature, a quick yoga session, or even some simple bodyweight exercises can work wonders. The benefits extend beyond the mental. Physical activity strengthens your physical health, improving your immune system and overall resilience. This, in turn, makes you better equipped to handle the physical demands of caregiving, from lifting your child to enduring long hospital stays. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury – it’s essential for being the strong and present parent your child needs during this difficult time.
Exercising while you are in the hospital with your child can be extremely challenging but there are ways you can do this without leaving your child’s bedside. You could have a look on YouTube for a yoga or Joe Wicks routine, you could see if your hospital can get an exercise bike from Cyclists Fighting Cancer like our ward did or you could just follow Counting to Ten’s lead and do star jumps for a set length of time.
If you are able to get away from the hospital, either because care is taking place at home currently or because you have swapped hospital duties with someone else. hitting the gym for an exercise class or just to zone out one the equipment will get your heart pumping, your blood flowing and your endorphins rising which will all make you feel better physically and mentally.
Hydration
Staying hydrated becomes especially crucial when you’re caring for a child with cancer. Cancer treatments, particularly chemotherapy and radiation, can wreak havoc on your child’s body, often leading to nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. These side effects can quickly lead to dehydration, which can further worsen their condition and make them feel even more miserable. As their caregiver, your own hydration becomes equally important.
When you’re dehydrated, it takes a toll on your energy levels, making it harder to manage the demanding schedule that comes with caring for a sick child. You might find yourself feeling sluggish, foggy-headed, and less patient – exactly the opposite of what you need to provide the best possible care. Staying hydrated ensures your body functions optimally, allowing you to be more physically and mentally present for your child. It also helps you fight off fatigue and illness, which is important to avoid catching anything that could be passed on to your already compromised child. Remember, proper hydration is a win-win for both of you.
Sound Bath
A sound bath is a meditative experience where you lie down and immerse yourself in waves of sound created by instruments like singing bowls, gongs, chimes, or even the human voice. These instruments produce deep, resonant vibrations that wash over you, aiming to induce a state of relaxation and well-being. Proponents believe sound baths can help reduce stress, anxiety, and even pain, while also promoting better sleep and emotional balance. Research is still emerging, but many people find sound baths to be a helpful tool for unwinding and promoting overall mental and physical relaxation.
Karen, The Geordie Grandma has recently tried a sound bath. The idea is that a trained sound practitioner uses a range of musical instruments to take you through a series of meditative exercises to guide you into a relaxed state. Users have reported feeling less anxious, and more relaxed, having lower blood pressure, and improved sleep. To find out more about sound baths, head to The Geordie Grandma.
Sensory Deprivation Tank
The relentless stress of caring for a seriously ill child can leave you feeling utterly depleted. Sensory deprivation tanks offer a unique form of self-care that can be particularly beneficial in this situation. These tanks create an environment of complete sensory isolation – darkness, silence, and warm, buoyant water saturated with Epsom salts. This allows your body to enter a state of profound relaxation.
Imagine stepping away from the constant medical updates, the worry, and the exhaustion. Inside the tank, your muscles completely relax, relieved of the strain of constant vigilance. The absence of external stimuli allows your mind to quiet, offering a much-needed respite from the relentless emotional rollercoaster. This deep relaxation can have a cascading effect, reducing stress hormones, improving sleep quality, and boosting your overall sense of well-being. Returning from the tank, you might feel calmer, more centered, and better equipped to face the challenges ahead with renewed strength and emotional resilience. It’s a temporary escape that allows you to return to your child’s care feeling more prepared and emotionally present.
I love visiting my local floatation centre, Float in the Forest. My experience is different each time I visit but I always come away feeling much calmer, more peaceful and less achy. I would highly recommend trying it out if you ever get the opportunity.
Get Yourself an MOT
Helen from Twins, Tantrums, and Cold Coffee has recently tried out a Mummy MOT. Now you may think this is just a fancy postpartum check-up but far from it, as Helen explains, her twin boys are 6 and a half and she still found a Mummy MOT beneficial.”The Mummy MOT assessments look at posture, breathing, pelvic floor, strength, flexibility, c-section recovery, advice on bladder and bowel health, and returning to exercise.” Helen visited a clinic in Plymouth but there are clinics all over the UK offering this service.
Run yourself a bath
Dig out all your favourite products, those candles that you’re saving for a special occasion. the fancy bath products, the home spa treatments you had for Christmas and haven’t had a chance to use yet. Lock yourself in the bathroom with a good book, your favourite drink, and possibly a tablet and Netflix and soak and preen until the water goes cold.
Spend quality time with your partner
Taking care of your child can put a strain on any relationship especially when you factor in all those household chores that still need doing, siblings and young children plus all the extra work involved with your child’s treatment. Taking time to reconnect with your significant other or even a close friend for those of you who are lone parents, might take a lot of careful planning but giving yourself a night off or even a few hours away will have a huge positive boost on your mental well-being.
